Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
