I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
