Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
