Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
