Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize