A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
