This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there was a trapeze. enough said
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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