I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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