One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
