Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
