Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
