he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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