billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize