you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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