sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
