I'm going to jail i love you
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
