he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize