In the future we'll all be gay
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
