After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
