I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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