I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
