i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
