Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
