So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
