Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
