I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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