dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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