You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
