areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
