This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The struggles of a small town man whore
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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