spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
