how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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