I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nicole vs. Life
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
