this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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