I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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