How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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