dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize