It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
