You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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