They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
