I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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