i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
