i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
