I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
