he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
