My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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