I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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