We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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