It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
