Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
