I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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