So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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