i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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