I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
