my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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