Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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