Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize