Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
