I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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