let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
