So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
