if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
