that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
