i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
