I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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