Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
