Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
