All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
