I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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