WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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