How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
