What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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