Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
