I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
