Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize