please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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