Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
