it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is my gift to your gina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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