You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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