you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My cat gives me a boner
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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