idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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