I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
