I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
